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This period represents a full decade since the word “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {